Week 9

Yeah bro, it's me again. I'm still around, I guess I win. Except I didn't, I scored 48 points and we are not going to discuss all the issues with the Munchies because I simple do not have time to write a book. For everyone else though that are still in playoff contention, this was an exciting, high scoring week with 8 of the 12 teams exceeding 100 points, the highest amount of the season and 2 more than the weekly average of 6. And with high scoring teams comes big amendments to the power rankings:

1. Mr. Nice Guy: Consistency at the top, GM Grafton, the people's champion, has fabricated a juggernaut of a team that is sure to hurt people's feelings at the MFFL Thanksgiving dinner table. RBs: Gurley, Conner, and Peterson are incapable of good manners and if Julio is back to scoring TDs we might as well conduct the Trophy Ceremony next Friday. 
2. Scoregasms: Yes, GM Brody's team is the 2nd best in the league. Picture me saying this without stuttering, sorry Ian. The Scoregasms will continue to pump out big wins throughout No Nut November. The two TE system is here to stay, and Coleman looks ready to lead this team into an explosive December. 
3. Tittsburgh Feelers: Back to back 140 point weeks for GM Matt and the Feelers, the resurgence of RB Howard, a healthy QB Watson, and WR Cooper finding a new home? News has it that there is a new species of horse living in Tittsburgh, and it's dark. (I really wish we had a name for the MFFL Trophy because I would mention here, "don't be surprised if it comes home to Tittsburgh" and I refuse to give it the name Trophy Sculptor August came up with).
4. Ravioli Ravioli: A drop in the rankings may be disappointing, but I am still proud of you GM Ian. The Raviolis boast arguably the best RB trio in the league and they are supported by an up and coming WR core that gets better each week. This team could hit their peak right when the Playoffs begin, and even though Halloween has come and gone, Owners around the League should be scared. 
5. Hoochie Mamas: Things can change quickly in the Fantasy World and even after securing a win through Byepocalypse, an AJ Green injury has devastated the Mamas' WR corps to sub-Munchie levels, a previously undiscovered depth where everything cracks under the pressure like a Chapel Hill water pipe. 
6. Ravagn' Rainbows: GM Connor and the Rainbows finally returned to a 100+ point game with the return of Kupp and Gordon. Plus, it looks like RB Cook has fixed his hamstring. A rise back up the rankings is in store and for the Rainbows, its a BOGO deal with a ticket to the playoffs.
7. Miking Mikes: Who is the Mikes 2nd RB? GM Darren as usual, has no idea and might be forced to assess his options outside his current roster. The WR position seems to have finally settled itself out, at least for the next couple weeks, as WR Boyd becomes the new leading receiver for the Bengals. GM Darren seems to be attempting to copy GM Brody's two TE system but I do not foresee similar results with GronkOUTski unable to get healthy.  
8. Bigpapihugetime: A 115 point defeat for GM Kurt and the Huge Times stacks the cards against them for the playoff race, but with only 2 games behind that last 6th seed, the dream is still alive and hangs on the backs of WRs Thomas and Hopkins. RB Mixon and WR Tate returning from Bye's could give this team the boost they need to string together victories but their firepower falls short after them. A RB Breida takeover will be necessary for the Papis to have any chance.
9. Pasca's Daddy: GM Dom, this is why you are the Chach of the league. Pasca's Daddy did well for a few weeks, getting bumped up into the top 5 of the rankings, just to have their worst performance of the season the very next week. Daddy's two RBs are both on Washington, and neither is the starter. Additionally, RB Murray is effectively useless from here on out and your Tampa WRs never know which QB will be throwing them the ball the next half of every game. 
10. Belichick Yo Self: Despite only beating the Bums and Munchies in points, GM David and Belichick Yo Self is staring one position away from a ticket into the big dance. RB Michel's return to the lineup is absolutely necessary as after WRs Brown and Adams, this roster suffers from Starter-Skill Deficiency.
11. Grafton's A Bum: Kelly and the Bum's managed to put together a solid showing last week on the backs of RBs Lewis and the Duke, and a stout Minnesota defense. However, poor QB and WR play keeps them in 11th. Effectively out of the playoffs, the Bums will just have to prepare for the Dansky Bowl.
12. Crunching Munchies: .

Matchup Highlights:

• Ravioli Ravioli (5-4) completely embarrassed Pasca's Daddy (4-5) in the Wildcat Matchup of the Week, 115-76. GM Dom and Pasca's Daddy have disappointed over the recent weeks, going 1-5 after starting the season with 3-0. The Raviolis have contrastingly rallied for their 4th straight victory forcing themselves into the Playoff Picture like Darren forced himself into Dom in this weeks DTDB moment. Dominic had no answer for GM Ian's RB trio CMC, Zeke, and White, combined for 61 points, tripling the points from Daddy's RBs. Meanwhile, GM Dom's team crapped all over the bed this week, with TE Olsen being their leading scorer with only 14 points. Pasca's Daddy will need to turn things around fast in order to get back into the playoff race.
• The boat racing continued this week as Scoregasms (8-1) trounced Belichick Yo Self (5-4) 132-87. Even with WR Diggs out with a boo-boo, Scoregasms continued their winning ways with a World Record 39 combined points from their TEs. Chicago defense added to the flames with 30 points, making a mockery of the poor Buffalo offense. RB Coleman continued to ball out with two TDs on his way to 28 points, doubling the entire production from GM David's two RBs. The 10 points from each of their WRs Brown and Adams were lackluster and they will need a turnaround next week while Scoregasms gets another instant win.
• Mr. Nice Guy (6-3) dominated yet again over Ravagn' Rainbows (4-5) in a 137-105 shootout. GM Grafton and his team is almost unbeatable. RB Gurley had his worst game of the season, 14 points, and the Nice Guy's RB trio still outscored the opposition by over 10 points. Julio finally gets his TD, and combines with fellow WR Cooks for another 35 points which is just as much as their QB Goff. GM Connor and the Rainbows did their best to keep up with 29 points from Big Ben and 18 from RB Gordon. Poor performances from Carson, Cook, and Smith-Schuster ultimately caused their downfall in a third straight defeat for the Rainbows. 
• The fans poured out into the streets in downtown Tittsburgh after the Tittsburgh Feelers (6-3) defeated their bitter rivals Bigpapihugetime (3-6) with an astounding 143-115 scoreline. The Huge Times suffer yet another heartbreaking defeat after huge performances by WRs Hopkins and Thomas combining for 44 points. QB Fitzpatrick also sprinkled his magic onto the scoreboards with 32 points of his own, but the Papis were out-shown by the 49 combined points from RBs Hunt and Howard for the Feelers. WR Cooper's new home in Dallas looks to be a nice fit where he produced 12 points to aid in the victory. The fairly even game was decided by the 27 points from Miami defense, putting the Feelers into 4th place in the league while Bigpapihugetime remains in 10th.
• Hoochie Mamas (6-3) escapes Crumbtown with a 79-48 victory over the winless Crunching Munchies (0-9). Despite not starting their top three players, Barkley, Green, and Ertz due to bye weeks, the Mamas relied on QB Mahomes and breakout RB Chubb as the only players to put up double digit points for the team. The Munchies struggled immensely in this matchup, where only their QB Rivers was able to put up double digit points, with 7 players putting up 5 or less points. This matchup was so boring even the Managers, August and Michael were not interested in playing it out as neither GM bothered to start a TE to replace their usual starter out on bye. GM Michael and the Munchies will continue to search for their first victory while GM August and the Mamas will look to cement their spot in the playoffs with another win next week.
• GM Kelly and Grafton's A Bum (2-7) nearly pulled off the upset but failed to hold on under GM Darren and the Miking Mikes (5-4) in a close 108-101 defeat. Leading the way for the Mikes was once again RB Kamara who has been an absolute unit this season. Kamara also had some help this week as TE Howard and WR Allen finally offered support in the form of 17 and 15 points respectively. The Bums rallied behind RBs Duke and Lewis who combined for 39 points but failed to keep pace with the Mikes after their QB Cousins failed to exceed 9 points, causing the defeat. 

  

Media Conference:

GM Kelly finally lifted the iron curtain over his group of Bum's to answer questions from the media. Kelly was peppered with questions regarding their teams recent elimination from the playoffs and how he plans to orchestrate his team for the Dansky Bowl, to which he responded, "firstly, I'm going to keep on striving to win games and make moves that benefit this team. In order to keep up my strong performance [from last week], I just gotta keep making moves without giving up on the season, and if I'm going down I'm taking somebody with me." 

GM Dom also held a conference to address his team's implosion this past week. He expressed his frustration with star RB Bell, explaining "Le'veon Bell has screwed my team. His selfish "me first" attitude has wrecked havoc on Pasca's Daddy, and quite frankly he is the worst person ever. I'm looking at the acquisition of Dez Bryant to proper my team to the playoffs and to make one key trade that will make me a championship caliber team." Expect GM Dominic to scour the market for RB improvements to address the hole Bell has left on this team.

We also had GM Ian, a media favorite stop by to discuss his teams position on the power rankings. Ian was aghast at the Selection Committee's decision to drop the Raviolis into 4th on the power rankings exclaiming, "I'll be frank, that ranking is disrespectful. I have won four games in a row with scoring 110 points or more in 3 of 4 wins. If Hoochie Mama's is higher than me with their performance this past week, that is laughable. My team has the Formuoli and if the rest of the league doesn't see that then they are in for a big surprise." Expect for Ian and the Ravioli's to continue their hot streak with added vengeance as they look to get the respect they deserve.

Weekly Awards:

• Murphy Mixup:

GM Kelly has to be kicking himself after his defeat this past week due to poor QB play from his Starter, Cousins. Meanwhile, QB Ryan and his 36 points were left on the bench, more than enough for the victory. A two QB system only works in college Kelly, and it cost you yet again.

• Oh Boy! Play of the Week:

GM Brody is really coming into his own this season, proving it yet again with the Oh Boy! play of the week with his two TE system of Kelce and Kettle Corn Kittle combining for 39 points who doubled the points of the entire Crunching Munchies field players this week. Keep balling Brody.

• DTDB Moment of the Week:

GM Darren reclaimed the top position this past week, taking control and pinning Dom down onto the floor and riding him to victory over the Bums. Now looking in from the outside on the playoffs, Dominic is on his knees getting the First and Schlong treatment from 5th place Darren and the Mikes who have forced their way down Dom's throat and into the playoffs.

• Champion Spotlight:

GM Kurt of Bigpapihugetime stopped by the set to give a rundown on being a Millbrook Fantasy Champion and the struggles of a Repeat Campaign. The Huge Times have struggled in the RB department this season despite their excellent WR play from Hopkins and Thomas and this was the first thing reining champion Kurt explained to us at the studio. "I'm not going to lie, the uncertainty of the RB position has taken an emotional toll this year. But the Huge Times, being a Franchise name, are always looking ahead in 5 year intervals. We aim to maximize talent over the long term." He continued to reiterate his confidence in returning to the playoffs this year, "We feel we are much better than some of the teams ahead of us; most specifically, Pasca's Daddy. We are certain things will start swinging our way and we will climb back up the standings. And as for what it means to be a champion," he grinned, "words really can't describe it. It's truly a feeling like no other. And I'm sure fellow champions, [GM Connor and Ian], can attest."

• Pasca's Ponderable: 

Damn, I really, honestly, and truly thought last week would be the week. Why does my team suck as much as Dom does? I literally trade for and pick up good players and as soon as they put on a Munchie jersey they decide to either get injured or crap over the field. How bad can a bad haircut really be?

Next Week's Matchups:

• Bigpapihugetime (3-6) vs Ravioli Ravioli (5-4): Wildcat Matchup of the Week

The Raviolis travel to Papiville for a star-studded matchup with two big time QBs set to put up even bigger numbers. Michael Thomas and Joe Mixon should hold their own against CMC and Zeke and I expect WR Tate to have a solid debut to keep pace with Edelman however the edge will go to GM Ian and the Raviolis with RB White flexing his guns over RB Drake who isn't getting enough carries. If GM Kurt makes the switch to RB Breida though, we could have a chance at an Oh Boy! play of the week.

• Mr. Nice Guy (6-3) vs Belichick Yo Self (5-4):

Bring out the firing squad for the execution in this one as Cooks, Jones, Gurley, Conner, and Graham are going to be charged for 3rd degree murder after the homicide this weekend. If the over-under on Grafton is 150, I'm taking the over.

• Pasca's Daddy (4-5) vs Ravagn' Rainbows (4-5):

Two teams who have fallen out of the playoff race desperately need a win as GM Dom and Pasca's Daddy fly over the Rainbow to face GM Connor and Ravagn' Rainbows. All the luck in this one is going to GM Connor as RB Gordon is celebrating Thanksgiving early this year with his feast over the tragic Oakland defense while Tyreek the Freak is going to build a roof and then bust it open in Kansas City. Meanwhile, I expect WRs Evans and Funchess to recoup from their catastrophe last week, but no WR Thielen this week cripples Dom's chances at victory.

• Scoregasms (8-1) vs Crunching Munchies (0-9):

Maybe the curse will work in reverse if the team GM Brody is facing has their worst week of the season every week?

• Tittsburgh Feelers (6-3) vs Miking Mikes (5-4):

With Kamara and Hunt all set for season-high games this week, the difference for the Feelers is going to come down to who they start at QB as Cooper and Ridley are going to rock while Allen and Boyd roll. If GM Darren sticks with RB Crowell as his 2nd RB then I hope he loses for being too stingy to realize he needs better options.

• Hoochie Mamas (6-3) vs Grafton's A Bum (2-7):

The Bum's get Odell back while Green is out with injury and I give them the edge in this one as RBs Duke and Jones will have big games while RB Mack struggles against the Jags.

With week 9 officially in the books, only 4 more weeks remain left to be written before the commencement of the Fantasy Playoffs and the inaugural Dansky Bowl. For all the middling teams, now is the time to decide which postseason competition they would like to be apart of come week 14. That's all we have for this week but keep checking back in the Weekly Wrap-up as competition heats up as we begin our Playoff Tracker next week. Until next time, Keep Pounding!