Week 5

Welcome back to the Weekly Wrap-Up, hope everyone had a much better week in fantasy because I have just about had it with this game. Unlike the past years where by week 5, multiple teams have started to break away and three or four tiers of teams have been created, this season remains a very tight knit race. 7 teams currently sit deadlocked at 3-2 for the second best record behind Scoregasms, while the remaining 4 teams are at risk of falling behind if they don't pick things up soon. Let's take a look at the Power Rankings to see what we can expect from each of the team's moving forward.

1. Mr. Nice Guy: GM Grafton breaks Connor's long run at the top of the rankings with another excellent, well rounded performance this week. Despite poor games from Julio and Goff, Gurley and Conner stepped up to the tune of 60 combined points for another victory. The schedule is looking pretty nice for Mr. Nice Guy as long as Conner and Gurley continue to dominate.
2. Ravagn' Rainbows: The drop for Connor and the Rainbows down from #1 is simply due to the serious injuries they have endured recently. With Ajayi on IR and Cook continuing with health issues of his own, it remains to be seen how Connor will combat the injuries. The Rainbows should still be a force to be reckoned with until their RBs get healthy.
3. Hoochie Mama's: While the Mahomes Magic may be running out, GM August still manages to field an formidable opponent for any team facing them on a given week due to a wide range of players that can blow up each week. However, their team has a strong reliance on TDs compared to other teams, there is some questions to the Mamas floor. 
4. Miking Mikes: The return of Ingram could spell trouble for a team that relies so heavily on their star player, Kamara. While a struggling supporting cast of WRs: Keenan Allen, Jones, and Boyd, may pick things up in the second half of the season, GM Darren seems forced to place the teams hopes on the backs of Yeldon and Crowell as Kamara's bye week approaches. Time will tell if the Mikes can spread the load to create a more balanced and consistent team.
5. Scoregasms: The league's only remaining undefeated team drew further away from the competition with another win this week thanks to bounce back weeks from Brady and DJ. WRs Diggs and Woods continue to excel and as long as Brody's sorcery skills continue to work, Scoregasms' winning streak should continue through the second half of the season. 
6. Tittsburgh Feelers: GM Matt and the Feelers are the proud owners of two of the worst weeks in the league this season after scoring a laughable 62 points to complement their week 1 botch of 70. Tittsburgh fans have taken to the media to publicly address their concerns with the teams extreme variance, and until their consistency issues are fixed, expect these volatile results to continue. 
7. Ravioli Ravioli: A complete lack of WR production generates a team that is too reliant on their RBs to perform week in and week out. 2/3 of the Ravioli's RB core satisfied expectations this week, but 16 combined points from all receiving options is a major warning sign taped to GM Ian's recently strong performances.
8. Belichick Yo Self: After a completely abysmal week 4, GM David and the Yo Selfs rallied to 115 points, the highest points of the week, for a comeback victory. Brees, Brown, and Adams all exploded and should continue to do so, but major RB problems will continue and hold this team back on the power rankings due to a very low, weekly floor.
9. Crunching Munchies: The return of RBs Freeman and Ingram are exactly what this team needed. That, and their first victory. But alas, their best effort of the season was met with yet another defeat as they drop to 0-5. With everyone back except for Fournette, the future looks bright for their offense, but they are running out of time if they don't string together some wins soon.
10. Pasca's Daddy: The trend continues for GM Dominic and Pasca's Daddy as they nearly matched their season low again in week 5. WRs Thielen and Golladay are certainly not to blame for Daddy's poor performances as they continue to put up 15+ each week. Their RBs however are struggling big time. A Breida injury could turn the tide for Alfred Morris to break out and lead Daddy's RB core back up to their previous production.
11. Bigpapihugetime: Mixon's return failed to bring a victory despite 18 points. But without a single other player getting above 15, the Huge Times have continued to show apathy towards scoring. Their bench is just as good as, if not better than their starters each week and changes need to be made to improve the firepower of the team.
12. Grafton's A Bum: Are the Bum's a bad team or just suffering from a string of really pitiful performances? The answer is probably both but with Odell finally erupting as he took over as QB for the Giants, GM Kelly and the Bums were able to claim another victory. There is virtually no one else, as every single other skill player was held under 10 points excluding QB Ryan. I'd suggest making a few trades to right the ship, but that would only make things worse...

Matchup Highlights:

• This weeks Wildcat Matchup of the Week certainly did not disappoint as Miking Mikes and Ravagn' Rainbows squared off in an intense grudge match that went down to the wire. An amazing QB performance by Rodgers (35 points) for the Mikes was nearly matched with a 28 point performance by Rainbows' QB Roethlisberger. Leading RBs Yeldon and Gordon were also deadlocked at 18 each, and with superb performances from Kupp and Gronk on either side, GM Darren went into Monday night with his star player Kamara, facing a 2 point deficit. He almost didn't get enough as the Saint's offense reveled in the return of fellow RB Ingram and QB Brees breaking the all time passing record. Kamara mustered 4 points to crawl past GM Connor and the Rainbows in a true nail biter. The two teams will meet again in the last week of the regular season to continue the storied rivalry, but for now, they both sit 3-2 heading into week 6.
• Mr. Nice Guy (3-2), facing 3 big injuries and poor performances still expressed their firepower by crushing Ravioli Ravioli (1-4) 110- 93. RBs Gurley and Conner for the Nice Guys easily outshined the Ravioli's quality RBs in Zeke, CMC, and White. While QB Newton also added to the Ravioli's effort, 30 points from both Gurley and Conner is just too much for anyone to comeback from.
• Hoochie Mamas (3-2) defeated Pasca's Daddy (3-2) 98-91 where both teams performed near their season lows. GM August and his Hoochie Mamas survived the poor play by QB Mahomes with strong performances from  Barkley, Green, and Ertz combining for 53 points. Although Daddy and Dom matched this with Wentz, Golladay, and Thielen joining for 58 points, the goose eggs from their tight end and kicker ultimately killed them in the defeat.
• Another week, another tough loss for GM Michael and Crunching Munchies (0-5). They fell to Belichick Yo Self (3-2) 115-103 in an intense Monday Night comeback that saw Brees explode to not only break the record, but break GM Michael's heart as well. The celebratory return of RB Ingram was marred by the defeat despite his astonishing 19 point spread to support the cause led by Rivers (25 points) and Ebron (23 points). GM David had other ideas in mind as his team rallied behind AB and Adams who both put up over 20 points with RB Michel adding to the score with 17 of his own. Will the Munchies ever win a game? Probably not.
• Grafton's A Bum (2-3) defeated Bigpapihugetime (1-4) in a snooze fest that mocked the rest of the league for their overall strong performances. The Bum's stole the victory with 89 points with an explosive OBJ tallying 25 of them. Minnesota Defense added 13 to secure the victory over Mixon, Breida, and Hopkins who combined for 52% of the Huge Times points. This game deserves no further analysis.
• The league leaders continue to laugh upon anyone who dares to face them as Scoregasms (5-0) absolutely murked Tittsburgh Feelers (3-2) 110-62. While RB Hunt showed up for the Feelers, the rest of the team must have thought they had a bye week as no one else put up over 10 points, with 5 players failing to gather 5 points. GM Brody and the Scoregasms surged to a great team victory as 5 players scored over 10 points with Brady and DJ leading the way with 33 and 20 respectively. The peculiar streak continues as the 5th team to face Brody has put up their worst performance of the year. A league investigation must be launched in order to get to the bottom of this potential match fixing or scheduling crisis. 

Media Conferences:

Being a Fantasy Manager can be an extremely stressful job and with emotions running high, dealing with defeat can be difficult for some. GM Dominic of Pasca's Daddy showed the shell of a broken man in his media press conference today lashing out by saying "Are y'all happy now? You like to see a shattered man and simply laugh?" when asked about his teams declining performances as of late. He continued in anger expressing that there will be "no mercy for the rest of the year" and that his "name and team have been disgraced for too long to receive this abuse". Before storming out of the media room, he gave a warning to every team in the league that this mistreatment and neglect "will all come crashing down on y'all." No further comments were made as it appears he is fully focused on delivering a victory next week with a vengeance against the Huge Times. 

GM Grafton was keen on praising his team and fans for sticking it out with him throughout the tough and good times of the franchise, giving "special shoutouts to Kelly for Julio." Now, in his 4th year as Manager of the Nice Guys, Grafton has also become confident crediting their recent victories to his "awesome waiver wire moves" of which GM Darren has repeatedly lost sleep over being beaten to the spot on picking up the likes of Conner, Peterson, and Lindsay. When asked about his next opponent and the ominous force that seemingly causes all teams who face GM Brody and the Scoregasms, Grafton offered no explanation, stating "I plan on doing nothing and hoping the fantasy gods have mercy on my soul." #BreakTheStreak will be the Nice Guys motto for practice this week and into their game.

Weekly Awards:

• Murphy Mixup:

GM Michael wins the Murphy Mixup after missing on both of his starting WRs. Funchess and Williams combined for 10 points in the starting positions for the team while Lockett and Thomas, who were benched for previous poor performances, tallied 12 points each in what would have been enough for the Munchies first victory of the season. Losing hurts, but losing when it is your fault sucks almost as much as GM Dominic in the DTDB Moment of the Week.

• Oh Boy! Play of the Week:

GM Darren needed every single point his team got him this week, and RB Yeldon was one of the key pieces that aided in the victory. Running in place of an injured Fournette, GM Darren picked him up for $10 after week 1, and the investment has been paying off ever since. With a few more weeks left until Fournette's return, Yeldon could continue to be a strong play and serve the Mikes as a much needed complementary back next to Kamara.

• WTF Waiver Wire:

A $6 bid on a TE may seem a bit steep, but when he puts up 9 receptions for 105 yards and 2 TDs on 15 targets, he more than pays off what you spent for him. That's exactly what Eric Ebron provided GM Michael of the Munchies for this week and with TE Doyle remaining out injured, Ebron will be a serviceable TE for weeks to come. 

• DTDB Moment of the Week:

Darren has reversed the roles the past few weeks and remains on top for round 5 while Dominic seems tied up, having been unable to reach his climax in weeks. However, with Ingram back and Kamara on bye next week, Darren might not have the supplements to keep this up. With their own matchup just two weeks away, both teams will be looking to rest up in preparation for a long Sunday together.

Next Week's Matchups:

• Scoregasms (5-0) vs Mr. Nice Guy (3-2): Wildcat Matchup of the Week

The undefeated Scoregasms will face off against the the top team in the power rankings in what could be the matchup of the year. With both teams rolling through the competition, this will most certainly be a shootout that both teams should deserve to win as Diggs, Woods, and DJ will look to keep up with Gurley, Conner, and Jones. Cooks and Peterson are both battling injuries for the Nice Guys and this could be a signal for the streak to continue for the Scoregasms. Kelce and surprise start Cohen will break the deadlock and give Scoregasms' another victory in a shootout as the teams are top 2 in the league in points for the week.

• Crunching Munchies (0-5) vs Miking Mikes (3-2):

The Munchies desperately need a victory, and this might be the week they do it. Both teams will be without Saints RBs Ingram and Kamara so look instead for Blow Plow vs the Crow to feature in this matchup. Freeman leads the way for the Munchies in front of their home fans in Crumbtown for their first victory of the season.

• Tittsburgh Feelers (3-2) vs Belichick Yo Self (3-2):

Two extremely up and down teams meet, both standing at 3-2 on the season. This game could finish 118-114 just as easily as it could finish 52-7. I'm taking Feelers with the higher ceiling in this one as Belichick Yo Self is without Brees on bye.

• Bigpapihugetime (1-4) vs Pasca's Daddy (3-2):

Pasca's Daddy travels to Big Papiville with both teams looking to avoid capsizing on their recent bad showings and right the ship. WR Evans is back for Daddy and look for him to torch the Atlanta defense while Hopkins struggles in Buffalo. 

• Grafton's A Bum (2-3) vs Ravagn' Rainbows (3-2):

GM Connor and the Rainbows travel to Bumville where they will defeat GM Kelly and the Bum's. It'll be close though, as Odell and Jones (Aaron, not Julio because well you know why) will put pressure on Gordon and co.

• Ravioli Ravioli (1-4) vs Hoochie Mamas (3-2):

GM Ian gives a warm welcome to the Mamas on their flight to Dumplington. On the field however, expect a coldhearted game led by a Cam and CMC air attack that will outscore Mahomes and Green. Zeke outperforms Barkley despite playing against the Jaguars Defense while Edelman will lead the come from behind victory on Sunday night. 

This brings the Weekly Wrap-up to a close. I'm done wishing any of you guys luck so everybody take a lesson from Dom and go suck. Best of luck to the Munchies.