Week 3

Hello there,

Generally, week 3 can only be looked at with continued uncertainty. Teams and players are still getting into the swing of things and finding their form. Rosters today will switch two or three times over before the second half of the season, however, teams have already begun showing strong consistency towards dominance. While others have presented perfect mediocrity yet are undefeated due to a string of effortless matchups. (I'm looking at you Scoregasms and Pasca's Daddy). So while these two may be leading the league table, Ravagn' Rainbows still command the top of this weeks power rankings:

1. Ravagn' Rainbows: GM Connor can't help but be pleased with his team's continued display of excellence despite their first defeat this week. Putting up 105 points with two thirds of their elite RB trio out injured. They have superstar starters with impressive depth that as long as they don't make any McClendog Trades, they will cruise through this league.
2. Hoochie Mamas: Although The Mamas have slowed down after their breakneck start, the have showed a surprising element of consistency when their stars fail to perform up to expectations. They are in second for now but their poor bench strength leads to some stability questions as they may get overtaken as bye weeks roll in.
3. Tittsburgh Feelers: Booming up the Power Rankings, The Feelers have chained two big victories with success from all across their lineup. With a superb Big Three in both the WR and RB position, GM Matt and the Tittsburgh Feelers have put their week 1 devastation behind them and promise success in the near future.
4. Miking Mikes: GM Darren unsurprisingly does not know how to rate his own team. Through 3 weeks, they have showed true elements of a boom/bust squad while continuing to leave their RB problems unanswered. Rumored to be in multiple trade talks, the Mikes are currently leaning on Kamara to carry this team throughout the inconsistency in production around him.
5. Mr. Nice Guy: Mr. Nice Guy has cooled off after a hot start and similar to the Mikes, GM Grafton has offered glimpses at amazing potential but inconsistent WR production along with 3 consecutive miscues at the flex position have hindered their performance and rank on the power table.
6. Belichick Yo Self: Perfect mediocrity is a title most don't usually strive for, but GM David has crafted a beautifully consistent squad. Averaging a smooth 100 points per game with a minute standard deviation of 5.2, the Yo Selfs seem to have a new player to step up each week. If they can make any improvements to their RB core, they will easily shoot up the rankings. 
7. Pasca's Daddy: Number 1 in the league and sitting pretty with an undefeated record looks great until their lineup is observed. GM Darren still has a lot of moves to make each week after losing their franchise QB to a season ending injury and with multiple other injuries across the bench, Daddy needs to hope his WRs can carry the team while he sorts the RB situation out.
8. Bigpapihugetime: Celebrating their first win of the season, the Huge Times have ironically decreased production each week. Frustrating performances from their RBs and first round pick, Deandre Hopkins, have caused a slight drop in their rating, but with Mixon potentially returning soon, they could look to build on their victory to climb up the Power rankings as well as the league table.
9. Ravioli Ravioli: Also earning their first victory, the Ravioli's have finally found the secret to the success, and it lies on the legs of CMC and Cam who have accounted for 45% of GM Ian's entire points this season. The rest of the Ravioli's have been excruciatingly disappointing and changes need to be made to continue success, but the potential is there. 
10. Scoregasms: How is a team that averages 91 points a week undefeated? Get your opponents to crumble whenever they face you. GM Brody has put up 1 week above 88 points and unless David Johnson and LeSean McCoy can pick up the pieces, Scoregasms will surely begin to lose some of their games.  
11. Grafton's A Bum: a piss poor performance in week 3 leaves the Bum's right where the belong. Everything went wrong for them as only 2 starters outscored their projections. Major changes need to be made in all skill positions, especially at RB where they do not have a clear starter. 
12. Crunching Munchies: Still stuck at the bottom after a devastating loss, the Munchies are pretty much useless until their RBs return. Their WR also need work and they have gone through 4 tight ends in 3 weeks. Rivers is the only player who seems to actually care about winning on the Munchies. The last time GM Michael led a team to an 0-3 start, they went 9 weeks before winning their first game, and wound up last in the league.

Matchup Highlights:

• Belichick Yo Self emerged victorious over Hoochie Mamas in the week 3 edition of the Wildcat Matchup. An outstanding performance from QB Drew Brees led the team to a 101 to 96 win while the dynamic duo of WRs, AB and Adams, assisted with 11 points each. This combated the Hoochie Mamas star QB Patrick Mahomes who put up 31 while RBs Saquon Barkley and Carlos Hyde dominated with a combined 40 points. Although no other players really helped either team, it was the 47 points from Drew Brees that single handedly snatched the win from GM August and the Mamas. GM David and the Belichicks rise up to 2-1 while Hoochie Mamas fall to 1-2. 
• Crunching Munchies and Bigpapihugetime entered week 3 both 0-2 and they both played like it. Desperately needing a victory, the teams were neck and neck throughout the game. Breaking ahead in the afternoon games, The Munchies took a brief lead on the backs of Gio Lockett and Funchess while the Huge Times relied once again on Michael Thomas and RB Matt Breida. A late Monday Night last gasp comeback saw a Fitzmagic TD put the Papi's up 88-86 as time expired. GM Kurt announced in the post game press conference for everyone to "suck my big fat long cock." Stay tuned for the DTDB Moment of the Week to see if anyone took him up on the offer.
• Ravioli Ravioli vs Miking Mikes also went down to the very last of wires. QB Cam Newton and RB McCaffrey  exploded for 53 points for the Ravioli's while the Mikes leaned on Kamara and the Crow, combining for 36 points. With a Sunday night face off between Gronk and Jones vs Matt Prater, Prater clutched out 14 points to push GM Ian and the Ravioli's ahead for their first win of the season. Both teams head into week 4 with 1-2 records.

Weekly Awards:

• Murphy Mixup: Hall of Fame Edition

The Murphy Mixup must really come with major clout, because it seemed that everyone was striving to win the award this week. GMs Grafton, August, Brody, Darren, and Michael all made clear cut mistakes at the flex position, some of which straight up turned a victory into a defeat. However, there is only one manager who could want the Murphy Mixup so badly, he would apply it to his entire team. GM Kelly wins for playing the COMPLETELY WRONG lineup this week. Kelly left 74 points on the bench this week, more than his entire starting lineup, from just two players! Sitting QB Matt Ryan and Calvin Ridley who were bound for a shootout game against the Saints alone was enough to win this weeks award. Kelly didn't stop there though, missing even more on Geronimo Allison and Javorius Allen. The Bum's bench scored 103 points this week and would have beaten 8 teams by themselves. Congrats on winning the Murphy Mixup for life Kelly.

• Oh Boy! Play of the Week:

Plays of the week take guts, and a little bit of insanity to pull off. GM Kurt knows all too well the drawbacks for taking that leap of faith and benching your star QB for a waiver wire pickup. The league made fun of his $30 bid on Ryan Fitzpatrick and even more for deciding to start him over Russell Wilson. But it paid off as Kurt and the Huge Times needed every one of Fitzpatrick's 31 points as they claimed their first victory of the season in true Fitzmagic fashion.

• DTDB Moment of the Week:

GM Darren had the opportunity to take control and ride on top this week due to Dom struggling to keep up the pace with Thompson and Jackson underperforming. However, Darren was once again apprehensive and tied up to a unsatisfying Keenan Allen performance. Dom once again dominated Weakie who continues to moan over his RB inefficiencies while also complaining about his throbbing hole in the flex position. Things are not looking up for Darren, and when they are, he's on his back staring at Dominic towering over him.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominance_and_submission

As week 4 approaches and we close out the first third of the season, let's take a look at the upcoming matchups:

• Pasca's Daddy vs Scoregasms: Wildcat Matchup of the Week

The top two face off this week, both looking to improve to 4-0 and continue their undefeated season. With RB Chris Thompson on bye, look for GM Dom to make a trade this week to plug and play while Brody hopes his RBs can get healthy and perform. With both teams having big players play on Thursday night, we'll have a good idea of how this matchup might turn out before the weekend. I'm predicting a close affair with Carson Wentz breaking out for Daddy and claiming the victory while Tom Brady struggles once again for Scoregasms.

• Hoochie Mamas vs Bigpapihugetime:

Both teams staring at 1-2 records, the two breakout QBs Mahomes and Fitzpatrick cancel each other out. Hopkins and Thomas outperform Barkley and an injured Green. August will make the right decision this time to start RB Royce Freeman to claim the victory. 

• Ravioli Ravioli vs Ravagn' Rainbows:

Two previous champions from opposite ends of the table face off, and with CMC and Cam on a bye, there isn't much hope here for GM Ian. With Cook and Ajayi returning from injury, there is just no stopping GM Connor and his Rainbows.

• Crunching Munchies vs Mr. Nice Guy:

The Munchies dig deep here with a return from Fournette, but with Gurley, Julio,  James Conner, and Ty Hilton; it's not enough. The drought continues for GM Michael.

• Miking Mikes vs Belichick Yo Self:

QB Aaron Rodgers struggles against a surprisingly tough Buffalo Defense while QB Drew Brees continues to dominate. Antonio Brown breaks out against division rivals and the Miking Mikes fall for the third week in a row.

• Grafton's A Bum vs Tittsburgh Feelers:

Odell finally breaks out against a New Orleans defense, but who knows, GM Kelly might bench him. Tittsburgh Feelers and GM Matt get the win on the backs of their RB trio while QB Watson and WR Will Fuller stack explode against the Colts.

So there you have it, as the weekly wrap up draws to a close and we all begin to watch the Yahoo! videos of all our players' projections for week 4, remember: Han Solo flew the Millenium Falcon through an asteroid belt with a success rate of 3700 to 1. Never tell me the odds because I'm not projected to win anyways.

May the force be with you all...